Last week I found myself in quite a quandary. You see, being the weekend working type of girl I am, it is very hard to take my kids anywhere for a get-away trip. Since I work all weekend and they are in school all week, one of us would have to play hooky in order to leave town. In light of such a scheduling challenge, you can imagine that I was pretty happy when Spring Break finally rolled around. (You know, Spring Break??? We used to call it Easter Vacation when we were in school --- but since Easter is a religious holiday, Easter Vacation went the way of CHRISTmas vacation and any other holiday rooted in religion.)
I was really excited for Spring Break because the kids would be out of school for more than a week and we could go down to the Bay Area for a couple days and catch up with the cousins, etc. However, a couple days before we were going to leave dear ex-husband decided to change his plans and is now going quad riding in the family friendly mecca of Coos Bay, Oregon and now he wants Andrew to go along. Initially the quad riding group of dudes was going over to Nevada to some area known for its Spring Break fiascos...drunk lunatics riding quads dangerously, culminating in medical helicopter or hearse rides. A place that Andrew DEFINITELY was not going.
So kids going with mom to Bay Area, Father going quad riding really wasn't an issue. Until the change of plans to Coos Bay... now it was going to be a family friendly place and Andrew could go along.
Mom Challenge #1 - Andrew has never been away from mom for more than a few days. He is my 13 year old baby of the family. (Why on earth are these kids growing up so fast?) Anyhow, so even though it wasn't an issue for Andrew if he went away for a week, it was an issue for mom.
Mom Challenge #2 - Since Andrew is 13 years old, he should be able to make up his own mind if he wants to go hang out with the cousins, or go quad riding with the guys. (Refer back to Mom Challenge #1 --- Mom will miss Andrew!!!)
Initially I was really happy when his dad called and said, "Andrew wants to go to the Bay Area with you and see his cousins." Yeah!! I was still cool! I was still Mom! Andrew still would rather hang out with me than the guys! Yippy!!!
As you can see , my excitement at Andrew choosing Mom over the guys was obviously short lived. Dad called back and said "Andrew changed his mind, he wants to go to Oregon." UGH!!! An entire week without my baby child? The car ride all the way down to the Bay Area without my #2 child in the car? How could I survive? Any mom knows that going anywhere without all of her ducklings in tow just feels WRONG! It feels like your skirt is stuck in your pantyhose. It feels like you are wearing socks with flip-flops. It feels like you left home and forgot to turn off the coffee pot. IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT!
And then it came to me, "The Agreement" I could pull out the agreement and refer to the paragraph that states, "Neither party shall remove children from the state of California without providing other parent at least 14 days written notice." HA!!! They were leaving in less than 14 hours! "The Agreement" is pretty lame by most court standards, 2 pages total. We pride ourselves on being one of the few couples in California who could get a divorce without spending a penny on attorney's fees. We are mature, reasonable, co-parenting adults and we hammered out "The Agreement." Basically, it requires us to always do what is in the best interest of the children and since we are responsible adults we typically can come to a mutual decision on what is best for the kids.
Ultimately, I never pulled out "The Agreement" I let Andrew make his own decision to go quad riding with the guys. It was a hard week, but I survived! And thanks to his Dad and the guys, I got some pictures to show that both Andrew and I made the right decision.
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